Martha's Story - making uninvited change your best friend, through Coaching

Change is the one constant we can absolutely rely on happening! But sometimes it feels uninvited and is definitely unexpected. Changes in circumstance realting to careers, health, accidents, bereavement, family relationships…they can all fall prey to factors outside our control. We may even feel we are walkkng through a life we don’t recognise.

This was Martha’s story when she came to me for Coaching.

A talented musician, muscular-skeletal difficulties had put paid to a cherished way of life, full of passion and fulfilment.

Now, I can relate to this, as someone who had to swing career paths aged 22. Doesn’t sound that old, does it - like there was plenty of time to not sweat about it? But this was after I had devoted many years of specialist (one might call it ‘elite’ level) training in the service of that one vocation, and it was cut off in its prime due to a medical condition. With it went not just a livelihood, but a whole social system and peer group - a whole way of being. I am an empath anyway, but I could really relate to Martha’s story.

What’s important at such junctures - and make no mistake, they can feel traumatic and life changing - is to have some mechanism for accepting the present and re-imagining your future. But doing this alone, can be isolating, and is prone to lack of concrete action happenning as we devote our energies to surfacing and emotionally finding our feet again..

Now, Martha was pretty fiesty and was determined not to sit back and be a victim of circumstance. I was struck by her sense of willpower and ‘can do’ attitude. So I knew she would make a great client match. That isn’t offered as a criticism when I meet clients who don’t exhibit those qualities outwardly - uninvited change coming into our lives can really knowck us sideway - as I like to say, it can feel as though it just turns up, sits in your favourite chair and walks off in your best shoes!

So, how was I able to help Martha ?

In 6 sessions, together we dialled back in to Martha's innate skills & abilities, those that her life in Music had honed, and worked on re-imagining those in new contexts.

By session 3, Martha could see new possibilities emerging for herself, which she herself generated with my help and support. How to redeploy her experience and talents. Her experience and authority was gained not only from her Musical life, but from her mastery of navigating complex social relationships of the sort one typically finds in musical groups and communities, and in family life. We were able to pin point that she was a great collaborator, natural organiser and, as our sessions discovered, had a flair for copy-writing. Interesting, because in out first session, she classed herself as 'someone who isn't good at stuff that is more academic or isn't hands-on'.

By session 5, we had deep-dived into what felt closest to her heart in terms of personal values. Using my own structured approach, to help unpeel the layers which can ‘mask’ who we truly are (and yes, we all do this to an extent!), Martha was able to construct a magnificent set of ‘next steps’ which truly aligned with her core values.

Together, we had worked to tame the sorts of self-limiting beliefs we all fall prey to, into something much more manageable for her, with which she could move forward.

Martha’s ‘will’, which I referred to at the start of this little piece, didn’t have to carry the day alone. Not many of us thrive, when we work in complete isolation. .

What else did our Coaching sessions provide?

I was there to provide an essential element of accountability - so vital to effective Coaching. A buddy who can help keep you on track with progress - progress which does not have to change the world, but can come, one step at a time. That is the beauty of Coaching. It can’t do the work for you, but it can enable you and help you find your courage and commitment.

What were the Outcomes ?

By the end of session 6, some 9 weeks later, Martha felt she had a much clearer vision for her potential new futures, an action plan of next steps which, leaning into me as an accountability buddy, she was already implementing. Most importantly, as this was self-grenerated during our sessions, she felt ownership over it. The sadness about what had happened, to her former life and sense of identity, hadn't left Martha - that wasn't the job of the Coaching .

Martha no longer felt like the uninvited change was controlling her destiny.

If you would like to empower yourself to turn change, from your ‘uninvited guest’ into your best friend, book your free Discovery Call with me today.

Together, we can re-imagine your bright future.

See you soon,